Love emerges out of freedom. It is an emotion that words cannot describe. A true lover is free and ever-ready to sacrifice anything for the sake of his love. Love has inspired many a poet, painter, singer, dancerÖ Take out this driving force, and the creativity in them fades away. The society however appears to be oblivious of this ëtenderí fact. It recommends and supports the idea of marriages without delay. At the same time, it rudely stares at the process of falling in love! If at all a Love, Marriage and Divorce: Some Absurd Thoughts K K Premlal Whiteline Journal September 2009 33 love affair happens to overcome such objections, marriage is misconstrued as its natural corollary. In many cases, where budding lovers are forced to court marriage in the name of social etiquette, love soon flies out of their lives. The main reason is that majority of the love affairs are mere incidences of infatuation, lured with exploratory thrills at discovering the fruits of lust. It ends sooner than expected. Those who still venture to proceed, end up in a blind alley when faced with the naked realities of life. Striking up short term relationships under false faÁades may be easy. But time shows up its true colour forcing the couple to part. Love has always had a divine status. But in modern days, it seems to have lost that sheen of purity. Motion pictures and soap operas thriving on open eroticism, promiscuity, and adultery have blatantly corrupted human sense and sensibilities. In a maze of divergent dimensions, love has lost its soul. Today, most unfortunately, it understands neither the value of relationships, nor the sanctity of a family. The deep-rooted social and communal beliefs, traditions and expectations, which have refused to change in accordance with modern trends, have also added to the decadence of love. Marriage rituals, which at one time guaranteed a lifelong wedlock, cannot safeguard a relationship anymore. Such a socially imposed convention is today seen by at least some as a fictional association. Husband-wife relationship is one of the strangest associations, as after undergoing the rituals to the satisfaction of the officiating people, and of late after appending signatures on a register, one starts cohabiting, sharing, procreating, and living under the same roof. But when quarrels erupt, with or without reason, howsoever trivia it may be, cracks begin to appear. Once strained, the relationship turns into a millstone around each otherís neck. Law interprets marriage as a civil contract. With changes in human attitude, and mutual trust, words like agreement and contract start playing vital roles. Insistence on written contract has become prevalent. Erosion of trust may be the reason behind this behavioural change. Day by day, truth is becoming a rarity. Marriage backed by rituals demands trust, beyond all legal comprehensions. But irony is marriage legally comes under the purview of a contract. In one way it casts a shadow of doubt on the mutual trust that is expected of a husband and wife. The way it is now, that day may not be very far, where 34 Whiteline Journal September 2009 a contract of marriage would run into a 50 page document, wherein both parties express their expectations from each other, and in the event of nonfulfilment of such expectations, approach civil courts instead of family courts for redressal. Since other features of a contract like specific performance is already visible even today coined as restitution of conjugal rights, this possibility looms large in the days to come. Marriage is more related to custom and practice, while divorce has become purely a legal action. Fortunately, most of the matters get settled by converting divorce petitions into petitions for divorce by mutual consent. Hence courts need not spend more time on evaluating adduced evidence. Otherwise by now, people would have been forced to keep a movie camera in their houses to record evidences in support of their plea for separation. A scrutiny of most of the present day divorce petitions would reveal a fictional flavour. They all read the same, because no petition is written with reference to a specific case of divorce or a couple. The words generally remain the same; it is only the names of the petitioners that change. While facing the challenge of converting facts to fit into the module of legal presentation, the easiest route is always adopted to save time and energy. At the end of the day, what really matters is, ëwho has won?í Men are known to be polygamous and women monogamous. It is rare to find a man who has not thought of another woman in his life. Perhaps fear is the only element that deters him from attempting a more adventuristic multi-partner relationship. On one side he struggles to satisfy his partner, and on the other he longs for multiple partners. This is when one begins to wonder if fastening people with the chain of marriage ensures any desirable result. Jean-Paul Sartre said, ìThe other is hellî. Perhaps Sartre must have gone deep into interpersonal relationship to give us such a warning. The possibility of a pair who enjoys the company of each other as lovers, starting to feel discomfort after marriage is not a rare phenomenon. Each one begins to search for excuses to be away. If forced to be together, each one tries to hide behind a news paper, or sit glued to the TV, or run after children. Eye to eye contact becomes minimal. There is virtually no communication between the two. Yet, to avoid social stigma, many pre-close the option of a separation, and continue in the relationship cursing their fate every day. However, among the urbanites, divorce does not seem to carry such encumbrances anymore. The first decision is to seek a divorce, and then start discovering reasons. An advocate would help put together a petition that can stand the test of law. In all these exercises, while the lawyers gain, it is unfortunately the children who suffer. For the Whiteline Journal September 2009 35 sake of society, the intended parties would fight tooth and nail for custody of the child, only to put him later in a hostel or leave him with the grandparents. Although the spurt in divorces has brought about some sort of ëresignedí acceptability in the society unlike in olden days, it still lacks the credibility of a convincing explanation. First you decide to marry, come together, procreate, plan a family life, and WHITELINE JOURNAL Yes, I want to subscribe to WHITELINE JOURNAL for (tick √) Three Years (36 issues) : Rs. 480/- Five Years (60 issues) : Rs. 800/- I am enclosing a cheque / Draft of Rs. 285 / 475 in the name of SAR MULTIMEDIA PVT. LTD. Please mail the magazine to the following address: Name: ________________________________________________________ Address: ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________ _________________________Pin: ____________ Tel: __________________ Date: Mail this coupon to: The Circulation Manager, WHITELINE JOURNAL SAR MULTIMEDIA PVT. LTD. 7, Prem Bhavan, Second Floor, 234/236, Narshi Natha Street, Masjid Bunder, Mumbai - 400 009. Tel. (022) 23454812, Fax: (022) 66391594. E-mail: whitelinejournal@gmail.com suddenly one day start washing the dirty linen in the public, and then seek legal help to part. † Relationships evolving on emotions cannot in anyway be structured and chained with legality. Law cannot be a replacement for consciousness, neither can it create conditions for a life of mutual love, respect and trust, nor a conducive environment for those vital elements to grow and subsist. Love, marriage and divorce! Do these not look absurd?